There is a wonderful saying that says “people come in all
shapes and sizes, and they are all beautiful” A statement that we all need to
keep in mind when dealing with people and forming views on them, whether we
mean to do it or not. Everybody is misunderstood
at some stage. It could be from a parent, spouse, workmate, friend, sibling or
mentor. More specifically groups and types of people can be misunderstood, especially
in a society that is so picky about what is normal and expected. With this people
can be sorted into certain groups and stereotypes. For example some people may
hear a man is gay and expect him to be very flamboyant. While others may see
somebody has tattoos and assume their life has no direction. There are endless
examples. The misunderstood group I want to discuss are introverts. In a world
where everybody is expected to be happy and social 24/7, introverts can be seen
as weird, awkward and boring. So as an introvert, I hope this piece clears up
many of those misconceptions, helps you understand what’s going on in an
introverts head in some social situations and who knows you may even relate..
MYTH 1 Introverts are weird
Introverts are weird but in the exact same way extraverts
are. Nobody is “normal” People often think that introverts are strange because
they do not talk as often as others. In some situations this is true but not
always. The difference between introverts and extraverts is that introverts
live in their heads a lot. They often think about issues more deeply before
sharing an opinion and because of that their ideas and words can be seen as a
little out there. Introverts blindly accept very few “norms” and see the world
in their own little way.
MYTH 2 Introverts don’t like to
talk
This is simply not the case. They
love to talk even if they say otherwise sometimes. The difference is that
introverts need a conversation that interests or challenges them. It’s not that
introverts don’t like to talk, they just don’t like small talk. An introvert’s
worst nightmare is getting asked “How was your weekend?” or having to talk
about simple things like the weather. If you talk to an introvert about their
hobbies you won’t be able to get a word in. Take this quote for example: “At
least half of people who speak for a living are introverted in nature,” This is
according to Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, a certified speaking professional,
executive coach and author of Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making
a Difference.
MYTH 3 Introverts don’t like
big social events
While it is true most introverts
prefer smaller groups of people the idea that they hate going to parties or
concerts is TOTAL nonsense. Introverts love going out and meeting people every
bit as much as extraverts. The difference is that introverts don’t need as much
as social interaction as extraverts. Both could be the life of the party while
there but what you will find is that after a couple of hours introverts want to
go home even if they are having a good time. While extraverts will be the first
to arrive and last to leave. Introverts find social interaction enjoyable but
draining emotionally and physically. They need their time alone to recharge and
feel in control of their life again. While on the other hand extraverts get
their energy from been around others and interacting.
MYTH 4 Introverts are shy
AGAIN!! Not always the case. An
introvert won’t talk to you unless they have a reason. In others words if they
want something. As mentioned already
they hate small talk. You won’t see an introvert starting a conversation in for
example a doctor’s waiting room for the sake of it. But they will interact if
they have a question to ask. That’s not to say a great conversation won’t start
from that. That may seem selfish to some, but remember introverts find social
interaction draining. It could be easily argued an extravert is selfish for
starting a conversation. Why? Because social interaction gives extraverts
energy and makes they feel better about themselves. It is often argued in
Economics that people are not selfish but self - interested. People simply follow the opportunities that most interest
them.
Myth 5 : Introverts don’t know
how to relax and have fun.
First of all everybody’s
definition of fun is completely different. How many people could you name who
actively enjoy every sport, genre of music and let’s go with gaming? We all
have different interests. Introverts are more inclined to enjoy tasks that they
can do alone for example reading or writing articles just like this. While
extraverts do usually prefer parties and larger social gatherings. Obviously as
mentioned above both types of people can enjoy their social and alone time. The
only difference is every person on this planet has a difference balance. Nobody
wants to be alone or with others every minute of the day.
So now that you understand introverts
a little better here are a few signs to help you spot them.
They withdraw in crowds. In other
words at a big social event you will find them at the edge of the room talking
to only a few people.
They have nothing to say if they know
they will only have a small time to talk to you. It happens if they know it’s
going to only be small talk. Schedule an hour to talk with them and they won’t
shut up.
They daydream a lot, so much so
you wonder if they are paying attention at all.
Introverts only speak when they
feel they have something interesting to say or to ask a question. They don’t
talk for the sake of talking.
They value their few close friends.
They tend to end up in careers
where they can be alone at times during the day
They are great listeners.
Finally I want to finish on the
note that there is nothing wrong with somebody who is introverted. They do not
need to be fixed or changed. In fact in such a loud world that is always
rushing, people who speak less and tend to think deeper should be encouraged.
Without these people the world would not have as many great scientists like
Albert Einstein, musicians such as Christina Aguilera, actors like Emma Watson,
business leaders in the form of Bill Gates and finally presidents such as Abraham Lincoln. All of these people are well known
in the public for their successes and as well as their introverted tendencies. So
put that is your socially correct pipe and smoke it.
For this piece I’m talking
entirely from my own experiences. I don’t pretend to be an expert.
