55 things I’ve taken from four months of living in Germany

I've decided to change it up for November and December. Instead of writing about all the experiences I have had, I will write about everything I have learned. Christmas and the New Year period are always a nice time for reflection. 

Friendship back home

1. It goes without saying you will drift from many of your friends back home simply because you are not seeing them very often. It will hurt and there will times when you doubt certain friendships. But you have to remember that people are busy, you’re busy settling into your new life and more often than not the temporal drifting is only natural and to be expected. The friends who do care will show it and with this change, that famous Bob Marley quote “everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for” comes to mind.
2. The quickest way to find out if you have a real friend or a convenience friend is to spend some time apart.
3. You will miss your friends and family so much. You realise how much many of them mean to you.
4. Introducing friends from your year abroad to friends back home is even more enjoyable and fascinating experience than interesting school friends to University friends and vice versa.
5. Meeting up with your best friends again can exceed all expectations. The fact friendships can restart like you were never gone is a great feeling.
6. It is impossible to see every friend you want to see if you’re only home for a few days or even weeks.

When abroad

1. You become incredibly proud of where you are from. What makes your country unique will more likely never feel more important to you. Even if you don’t always express it.
2. You constantly compare everything abroad to what it is back home. From shops, people, lifestyle, architecture, food and so much more. It never stops.
3. If you are ever having a bad moment you immediately build up an unrealistic and utopian version of life back home in your head.
4. You realise you don’t need as many things to be happy. You just need a bed, food, water and most importantly good friends. Ok, I’ll admit you need a fast internet connection but the point is still valid.
5. The sense of freedom is breathtaking. 

Language

1. While speaking the local language is a great help. The abilities to be kind, humble, respect other people’s struggles and to take a genuine interest in them will make you friends a lot quicker and get you a lot further in general.
2. Just because you understood a word in a new language last week, does not guarantee you will remember it today.
3. If you can do something you’re generally nervous about (for example asking a question in class) in a foreign language you quickly realise the fact you were ever nervous about it in your mother tongue was a little silly.  
4. At times you get sick of speaking a foreign language but if you don’t speak it for a while you actually miss it. Or maybe you just feel guilty????
5. You do have a different personality depending on what language you are speaking.

People

1. No matter where you are or where people are from. With any group of people, you will always find people you really like and others you simply can’t stand.

Friends when abroad

1. You’re far more likely to make friends with other foreign students than you are with locals. In fact, unless they go out of their way to meet foreign students or have experienced been a foreign student themselves you won’t become friends with local students.
2. As exciting as it is to meet people from all over the world, foreign/exchange/Erasmus students will naturally spend more and more time with their own nationality or nationalities they are a little more familiar with. Often without realising it.
3. A person’s character, personality and interests are far more important than where they are from but if you want to learn about other cultures make sure you get to know people who are from complete other parts of the world. It is here where ideas, cultures and beliefs collide These ideas often challenge your own and it is truly an eye-opening experience.
4. Knowing you have friends and will continue to have friends from all around the world is a very comforting and inspiring realisation.
5. The friends you make from different countries will have a greater effect on how you see that country than their politicians ever could or will. 

Coming Home

1. It will take you longer to settle back home after time aboard than it took you to settle into a new city abroad. This is because a part of you expects things to be the exact same as to when you left, while when you go abroad you probably had no idea what to expect and there are no expectations to shake off.
2. You can spot people (even strangers)  who have lived abroad and those you have not by their immediate reaction when you tell them that you are doing just that.
3. You think everybody should live abroad or at least live in a different part of the country.
4. You get angry and frustrated when people don’t see the value of living aboard.
5. Maybe for the first time ever you realise how strong of accents all your friends and family members have.
6. Even if you love home the thought of living in your home town or city for the rest of your life is the most scary thought imaginable.
7. The fact you can speak you first language all the time seems too easy and no matter what you are doing you feel a little lazy.

Life Lessons

1. The person you are abroad is more the person you want to be, than the person you are at home. That is simply because you can be whoever you want to be because nobody has a judgement about you. Also new people can’t judge you based on who you are friends with. You learn who the real you is and you can express that.
2. You can be your true self no matter what country you live in. But god dammit it’s harder at home. But it is important to do just that.  
3. It is better to go somewhere once than to read about it a thousand times.
4. Maybe this is one that applies to me in particular. As a guy you can hug your male friends, tell them you love them, send them “xxxxxx” in a text and it does not have to be weird in the slightest way. The whole kissing each other on the check thing as a greeting. Ill admit I’m not there yet but I'v come a long way in a short space of time. Baby steps. 
5. The world is a very small place. The only trouble is plane tickets to visit friends are often very expensive.
6. The quickest way to find out if you have a real friend or a convenience friend is to spend some time apart.
7. Do your best to be in the moment and to be present with the people you are with. For example when at home don’t be texting your new friends from your year abroad when with your friends from home and vice versa. You can do that when you get home.
8. Live in the moment.
9. Been an introvert and living in student dorms can be both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to you.
10. Cooking together is a great bonding experience.
11. Change is hard but enjoying and most importantly so so worth it.
12. A night in talking about politics, relationships, sport, music or whatever topics are important to you will always beat a night out. Especially when it is cold. 
13. When you do something you are truly and genuinely passionate about. The people around you will sense that and champion you along, even if they don't understand entirely why it means so much to you. 
14. The importance of letting go of the negatives back home and that it is so much easier to do that when abroad.  

Every day lessons about living in Germany (Survival guide)

1. If you are willing to get public transport at the most awkward times imaginable you can travel around Europe very cheaply and effectively. Even as a student. Flixbus will be your best friend
2. While the transport system is very good. It is nowhere near perfect, trains are often late. All be a few minutes usually. 
3. More experiences > Less but more expensive experiences.  
4. 99% of the time you could get away with not paying for the U- Bahn but it is simply not worth the risk because of fines.
5. If you get a drink of any sort at the Christmas markets don’t be surprised if you are charged up to 2.50 euro more than is advertised. But don’t worry you will be reunited with that 2.50 if you bring your empty mug back.
6. The only way to speak German to Germans as a foreigner with an accent to keep talking in German when they speak to you in English.  You just need to be stubborn with them.
7. Bring hot chocolate from home with you. German brands are not the best. Saying that the hot chocolate, drinks and food in Germany is amazing especially in the Christmas markets.  
8. Germans are a lot more open about the war than you may expect but you will feel strange mentioning it for whatever reason on public transport and other public spaces.
9. In restaurants, waiters will have no problem coming to your table, to inform you, that you need to pay the bill. You also, almost always pay at your seat. So don’t be surprised when it happens.
10. Be prepared that almost everything will be closed on Sundays.
11. NEVER walk in bicycle lanes.
12. Never drink without a toast. PROST 

So that is it for now. I would like to thank you all for reading and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year wherever you are.