Like every major milestone in life, whether it is getting a
new job, losing a love one or in this case my 20th birthday you do
often reflect on where you are in that very moment and wonder how you got
there. Like I said my 20th birthday is soon, as in the next couple
of months. I won’t give the exact date as the last time I did that I got, if I
remember right 242 “Happy birthday’s”. Which was sweet and all but the terrible
thing was, I am often too nice for my own good. I felt obliged to thank each
individual person, which took hours. So with that I move onto the purpose of
this piece. He learn every day, a new epiphany if you will. A day without learning is a day wasted if you
ask me, but saying that some things stay with you more than most. So on this
quite Tuesday evening I write this list
of fifteen things I wish I knew before I turned twenty. I could have come up
with twenty but I didn’t see the point in writing an extra five just for the
sake of it and wasting everybody’s time. I am
writing these down as they come into my head as I feel that will bring out the
lessons that mean the most to me. So with that I give you the first thing I
wish I knew.
1) For
anything creative whether it is a speech, a photo, a painting or an article in
this case it has to come from the heart for the message to carry. That does not
mean it has to be personal it just means the topic has to mean something to the
creator. If not the audience will sense it and the piece will have little
effect on others.
2) Did
anybody else’s boss, mother or partner ever tell you to write a “to do list”?
If so there is a reason for that. They work. To do lists keep you focused on
what needs to be done and keep you focused on the task at hand. A constant
reminder in the back of your mind. They are an absolute pain but I guarantee
you anybody who is successful, no matter the field have one.
3) It
sounds a little silly at first but it is actually one of the great hidden
truths of the modern society that we live in. A society where we are all so
obsessed with material goods. The lesson is “It’s not what we get that makes us
happy, it’s who we become” Focusing on been the best version of yourself is one
of the most fulfilling feelings in the world. You will get so much more joy
from becoming for example a better public speaker than you ever will from
buying those shoes you have convinced yourself you need. Knowing you are
becoming the BEST version of yourself is the BEST feeling in the world.
4) A
positive attitude will lead to both positive results and a positive life. No
matter what happens to you, it is important to find the positives. Why? Because
self-pity is very destructive. It destroys everything around it except itself.
5) You
will achieve nothing without intent. Yes the discovery of penicillin for
example was initially an accident. But Ernest Duchesne, the French physician
was studying micro-organisms at the time. Intention will not always get you
what you want, it takes so much more. But without intention or a goal, desire
and motivation will get you nowhere.
6) If
you think somebody hates you for no reason you’re lying to yourself. The chances
are they have strong emotions towards you. This emotion is more than likely
jealousy whether it is your money, friends or any other factor really. Failing
that you did something to really annoy them and you just don’t realise it.
7) People
who put there whole social lives on facebook and other social media sites have
low self-esteem and are lacking the attention they need from their friends and
family around them. Yes many of us work on our personal brands and talk about
music, current events and in my case sports. Sadly many of us feel the need to
put of seven snapchats of ourselves and our friend having an Ice-cream.
8) It
is important to think for yourself. It is so easy to get drawn into who the
better politician is by listening to the news or just assuming your friend is right
without hearing the other side of the story. They say there are two sides to
every story. This is not true. There is actually at least three. What everybody
around you is saying and most importantly what that brain inside your head is
telling you. More often or not the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
9) It
is men and in particular white men who are never discriminated against…. With
one exception. Spare a thought for the small man. We live in a society where it
is okay for woman to turn down men because they are too small but men are pigs
if they turn down a woman for example being too big. Even though in most cases
it is possible to lose weight but impossible to gain height.
10) There
will always be somebody who thinks they know better and you guessed it most of
the time they don’t. We all know somebody who makes claims to have the ability
of the world on their shoulders. You got an A is all seven of your exam’s? Well
according to them they got eight and if you can prove otherwise they will come
up with an excuse or some biased reason to why they didn’t. Ignore these
people.
11) There
will always be that person who is nice to your face, but the second you turn
around they will complain more than I mother who claims she gets no help around
the house. People who do this, hide their feelings in the shadows, why? Because
they are stuck behind others. They are so threatened my others they look for
any cowardly way to tear down others. Would it not be great to live in a world
where we all said what we thought?
12) The
only two things you are competing against are yourself and time. With yourself
it is the constant battle of trying to be better than you were yesterday. Don’t
worry about where others are. Focus on yourself and you will catch up in no time.
Saying that you need to do it now because as you kill time, time is killing
you. Unlike money you cannot trade time, you can’t save time you can only lose
it. By wasting time you are making a conscious decision to shorten your own
lifespan. Surly you deserve better.
13) It’s
not always the people you have the most in common with that you get on with
best. This is one I find impossible to explain, but it’s just a fact of life.
14) Loving
what you do for a career really makes all the difference to your happiness. It
is one of the reasons many of us look back on school with a sense of hatred.
For some it was maths, others English. Whatever it was everybody had at least
one subject they hated with a passion but had to struggle on with for years. People
do the exact same to themselves when they follow a career path because they
want money or their parents forced them. You will never reach the top of
something you hate, because you won’t put in the work to get there. It would be
stupid if you did. So follow your heart and figure out how to make money out of
it.
15) Time
is not a healer of all wounds but it is the teacher of lessons. The idea that
bad memories will just disappear is a lie. Negative experiences will stay with
you, but you learn from them and move on. Despite that some things will never leave you
but it is those experiences that make you stronger and more prepared the next
time.
